Thursday, July 26, 2007

I'm Buying Stock in YouTube as Soon as I Get Some Money

Watch this and join me on my crest of joy. Van Damme is doing the same dances Ben does in his boxer shorts when he has too much energy (moments before he crashes and whines, "I'm ty-ty. I hadda long day. Turn off the lighty."). But then, shortly after VD goes into the dance-splits, it goes in a different direction--these pan-Asian people don't want to see his moves, and those bitches aren't really interested in his jock! They've got more sinister plans in mind--namely, running up to him and waiting around for him to do the fight-splits and elaborately punch them, breaking a bottle and waiting around for him to elaborately punch them, and nearly pulling out a decorative cheese-knife set from their inside pocket but then thinking better of it because there's always time for a cheese plate and they're intrigued by his drunken strength. Note that I had no idea he was supposed to be drunk until the end of the scene (made even more memorable by the guy who runs up to VD and then waits around for VD to slam his head into his shot glass and then the table).

VD is clearly ignoring the agreement. Clearly there's some unspoken rule that when you're drinking in a strange Asian bar, if a fight breaks out you're supposed to do the noble thing and just run up to each other and flex. These people never saw it coming. VD honors no unspoken rules (except for the one about always wearing Z. Cavaricci's).

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