Today I found this Valentine somehow relegated to my Spam folder:
This person gets me. Finally, someone who realizes what a "gentleman" I am. I look forward to meeting up with this person for a hott date where we eat a series of hors d'oeurvres and then sing "Don't go rapin' that prost" a la "Don't go breakin' my heart" at the karaoke bar a couple blocks from my house, after which I am throttled, discarded, and eaten by wolves.
Happy Valentine's Day! xoxxx