Page Six Actually Wrote This Post

It's been brought to my attention that the site I mentioned yesterday may not be as ass-busting as I let on. However, it is.

I just opened up Yahoo! to find that Ray Charles' funeral will be broadcast live. Have we no shame? And speaking of, does anybody else think that Rasputin's bird looks like a sleeping elephant with a ball in its trunk? Where are the nuts, I ask you? Oh, wait, I see one, she's blond and she's bending over the appendage like it's a child drawing Christmas trees and puppies.

We're not the only ones worried that Britney will pull a Kirstie. I thought crack was supposed to make you thin?

Anytime anyone says they've never heard of something, it's a lie. Especially when it's Depends Adult Dipes, a.k.a. the punchline of 73.4% of all bad jokes.

No way.

Dustin Hoffman played Captain Hook, now he's in Finding Neverland with Johnny Depp. I like it. I'm the target audience for every movie, because I'll watch anything.

Happy Father's Day to all the baby's daddies out there.