Yeah, YOU

I found myself horrified as I wandered through this arbiter of hipsteria; five minutes later I stumbled upon this article.  Face it, chaps, if you're still shopping in the kiddie section at the Family Thrift, it's time for a change.  Cut your hair, Russell Hammond.  Jawbreaker broke up years ago.  Get over it.  If I see the milk-white of your wrists sticking out of that tired blazer one more time, I will snap you in two.  Put the PBR down, get a real job, quit standing around talking about the "Stones, man..."  You have officially stopped being ironic.  Shut up.