I Can't Take Taking Any of This Talk Serious

I'll be in New York in less than 48 hours. The first item on the agenda is Murray's Bagels in Chelsea. After that, who cares?

I'll finally be meeting Annie Barrett in the flesh, as well. I'm going to make sure to use the phrase in the flesh as much as possible when speaking with her, because I can't be creepy enough, apparently.

I replied to Claire Zulkey's recent post on meaningless crap bosses pass on to their subjects. My response went like this:


Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2005
From: Lindsay Hunter
Subject: Meaningless Words From a Person Suffering From a Major Superiority Complex, a.k.a. My Boss
To: Claire Zulkey

Ms. Zulkey:

I was so happy to read your post about taking ownership of your work and all that shite, because my boss suffers from the same disease, identified by leaning back in his too-expensive office chair, decadently closing his eyes, and delivering these pellets of worthlessness:

1.) "Here's what you need to do..." This may be his favorite phrase, as he employs it almost as regularly as I roll my eyes during the work day. What he really means is, "Here's what I need you to do..."

2.) "Practice the six P's: Prior Preparation blah blah blah..." He feels this is mightily clever, but he doesn't appreciate it quite as much when I turn it around on him for being late to an appointment or forgetting where his glasses are for the sixty-eighth time.

3.) "Internships are meaningless." This is a real gem that he delivered in the same breath as ordering me to research his entire upcoming speech, as well as do some paralegal work on the side which he billed under my name and then kept the money for. In a sense, wasn't he implying that my very job is meaningless? Brilliantly done.

Anyway, you get the picture. Even if this isn't posted to your site, it felt good to get it out.

Sincerely,

Lindsay Hunter, Totally Not an Intern


It was then that I realized it: I hate myself.