Tuesday, June 29, 2004

The Most Political Entry Ever

Dear Britney,

Are you fucking kidding me?


Glad I got that out of the way. I viewed Fahrenheit 911 on Friday (my firm took a field trip). There was a cop standing menacingly at the door. My boss asked him why he was there and he cattily replied, "What kind of movie is this?" Good point, Serpico. The movie was extremely effective and I cried the whole way through. Then we got into our SUV, my boss and his wife got into their Jag, and we all drove home haughtily.

This is very sad. He must have been rich, though. I can't tell you how many times I had to run upstairs to get a copy of one of his books for a weepy old lady. Now I'm the sobby one. They took him to his grave in a fire truck, every boy's dream, oh the humanity. Ironic that someone who stood only for peace has died so young. I'll leave you to discuss.

The Motion Picture Association won't allow a Roeper comment, "Everyone should see this film," onto a print ad for Fahrenheit 911. I just want to shriek with ecstasy over the administration's giant shorts in a wad. Don't you get it, you simps? The more you try and suppress something, the more people will want to see it. That's what makes America so frigging great: if you tell us not to do something, we'll defend to the bitter end our justifications for doing it anyway. Eat that, you morons! (Not you, Mom, just the whole rest of the extreme right.)

Hahahahahahahaaaaaa... (dot dot dot pronounced)

I was reading someone's blog (I can't remember who, too much jet-set blog-reading) and she (it was a she! I remember that!) was saying that she doesn't vote because she doesn't know anything about either candidate and doesn't want to do anything that might seem like an ignorant choice. My response to that, after I came to from banging my head on my desk repeatedly, was this: a.) it takes no more than ten minutes tops to educate oneself on each candidate's various policies, 2.) you're already a useless ignorant if that truly is your plan of action, so why not pick up the newspaper once a week? It's actually not for wiping your ass! iii.) don't share things like that with the whole world, it's like scratching your crotch, and I mean really digging in there, whilst on the security cameras at Walgreens. You look like a tool.

Doesn't anybody care anymore?! Citizenships should be taken away on five-year rotations if one can't pass a simple current events test. It should happen at the DMV. Just think how wonderful this country would be!

Lack of knowledge about one's own country is completely unacceptable and wholly incomprehensible to me. American's aren't stupid, we just act like we are.

In closing, who wants to go in on a wedding gift for Britney? I'm thinking something like this. Or something really useful for her, like this.

Go check out my fiction blog, Story Not Novel. No posting comments though, that's apparently reserved only for me madre.

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