I could really go for some Hot Tamales maintenant. Once, I broke a tooth on one and tried to hide it from the people I was with. Alas, they discovered my ploy and documented it in photographic form. Thank God I got that face transplant, now nobody will know it was I! Mwah ha ha (cough)...
I've been really busy, I mean swamped, with writing terrible fiction on the other site, so this one has suffered. Sorry to both of my fans.
I'm driving to Atlanta today to visit my farter. I've purchased a seatbelt for my dog, so in the event we get into a fiery crash she'll have no means of escape whatsoever. We'll both go down with the ship, otherwise known as the 'sensible mid-size.'
Why, Coach K, whyyyy? Steve Spurrier much?
The other day, I was thinking about Jessica Simpson (I make sure to spend at least ten minutes thinking about Newlyweds each day), and I couldn't imagine her getting older than 26. What does it all mean?
I had two and a half Popeye's biscuits last night. Then I had a nightmare that my nephew's ass was blooming. Connected?
This morning on NPR all the correspondents took turns reading the Declaration of Independence, and I got a lump in my throat. This country was founded in greatness. It's time to return.
I have to give props to my girl Denise. Thanks for helping me achieve a perfect T-stand. I couldn't have done it without you. Now I truly understand the saying, "My spine is my lifeline." You're the meaning in my life, Denise. You're the inspiration.
Happy 4th of July. Go do something for America this weekend, like registering to vote. Or just buy a giant Hummer and drive it around like an asshole, playing soldier. That oughta show the Saudis what we think about their oil. Oh, wait a minute...I meant Iraqis. Wait. Afghanis? Whatever, how am I supposed to keep them straight if the administration can't? They're all terrorists, eh, Bushie?
"...we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor."