Read this. Do that.

Jason Rice over at Three Guys One Book asked me to write something for their "When We Fell in Love" series. You can find it here. It was really fun to write, but also nervewracking. I didn't want people thinking, "Congratufuckinglations, you read Faulkner." So I decided to get real. I hope you like it.

I am going on a series of mini-tours in the coming weeks. The first (July 31-Aug 3), the High Emission Tour (with Amelia Gray, Aaron Burch, Adam Novy, and more!), takes place on the West Coast, with stops in San Diego and LA for Vermin on the Mount, and then San Francisco (it actually goes to Arizona after that, but I hop off after the first San Fran date).

Holy parentheses.



The next mini-tour is a Midwest tour featuring me, Amelia Gray, Mary Hamilton, Jac Jemc, Blake Butler, Aaron Burch, and others. August 27-August 30. Madison, Minneapolis, Iowa City, Chicago.

Then NYC with Christian Tebordo October 24.

I'll update with specifics as I know more.

Needless to say I am burbling.

We are doing final touches on Daddy's. Brace your balls.

Video!

Here is video of Ben's dad's technique of scaring gulls away so he and Ben can get closer to the ocean. Also: Ben nearly falls in and his sister shrieks about something unseen. (This is not to be confused with the time, moments later, that Ben actually did fall and nearly slid in and used his camera as an anchor.)

Maine-land (I'm a writer)

We went to Damariscotta, Maine for five days earlier this week. Here is proof:

Portland!

I thought this would be an awesome picture. You know, arty. Oh, well.

The house we stayed in.

The house we stayed in's backyard.

The house we stayed in's backyard's pond.

Downtown Damariscotta.

More Maine-y shit.


This lighthouse is on the Maine quarter!

These were growing near the lighthouse. Tomatoes? Cherries? Cherry tomatoes? You be the judge.

More lighthouse.

This Native American was keeping it real. And you know how much Native Americans like to keep it real. He faced the gift shop; his ass faced the lighthouse.

Ben's dad went on walkabout and when we found him he had this feather in his baseball cap and he was profoundly changed. He wanted us to call him "Frederic Supertramp."

I like this picture because it shows the beautiful striations formed in the rocks by the sea, and it also shows the husk of a crab recently eaten by a gull--life is beautiful. But mostly I like this picture because it's reminiscent of a vagina.

The sea tried to claim Ben as he stood pontificating on the rocks with his father. His sister and I stood alternately screeching and laughing hysterically hundreds of feet away, helpless. Luckily, he used his camera as a crafty sort of anchor and he was able to find his footing again. However, he did not escape that pesky sea poo, and the rocks weren't kind to the boniness of his legs.

Here is the lens of the lighthouse.

Here is the remains of what we ate after leaving the lighthouse. Note the lobster corpse. I was going for a PETA meets Jeff Koons type thing.

The view from the restaurant.

Later, we went hiking.




We went kayaking but I didn't bring my camera on the actual kayak part. Here are some photos taken after returning to land.



I was shocked to find that after all the athletics and nature I was exposed to, I still didn't manage to a.) get a tan, or b.) become less huge. Evidence below.

It was an awesome trip. We also went to L.L. Bean and I bought a barn coat, some boots, and a hunting coat for my dog. I told this to T. Xavier, who responded, "Normally, I'd be against dogs wearing clothes. But since you'll both look like lesbians, I say go for it." I may be paraphrasing a little.
Anyway, Maine!