Read this. Do that.

Jason Rice over at Three Guys One Book asked me to write something for their "When We Fell in Love" series. You can find it here. It was really fun to write, but also nervewracking. I didn't want people thinking, "Congratufuckinglations, you read Faulkner." So I decided to get real. I hope you like it.

I am going on a series of mini-tours in the coming weeks. The first (July 31-Aug 3), the High Emission Tour (with Amelia Gray, Aaron Burch, Adam Novy, and more!), takes place on the West Coast, with stops in San Diego and LA for Vermin on the Mount, and then San Francisco (it actually goes to Arizona after that, but I hop off after the first San Fran date).

Holy parentheses.



The next mini-tour is a Midwest tour featuring me, Amelia Gray, Mary Hamilton, Jac Jemc, Blake Butler, Aaron Burch, and others. August 27-August 30. Madison, Minneapolis, Iowa City, Chicago.

Then NYC with Christian Tebordo October 24.

I'll update with specifics as I know more.

Needless to say I am burbling.

We are doing final touches on Daddy's. Brace your balls.

Upcomer!

Friday night I am reading with Kevin Sampsell at the Book Cellar. His book, A Common Pornography, is really good, and you should buy it.

And the boy got swagger

Exciting things have happened. One, there are only 37 days until I promise my privates to one man for the rest of eternity (or until I stop procrastinating about the divorce).

But further:

I was honored to find out that StorySouth named my story, Unpreparing (which Hobart deemed worthy of publishing), as a notable of 2008. Even though it fell short of the minimum word count!

And also, Wigleaf picked my story, Tuesday (which Smokelong gave a home to) as one of the Wigleaf Top 50 Very Short Fictions, 2009!

There are many of my literary heroes also included in these lists, and I can't believe I am in their company! So exciting and thus excited.

Bill Haverchuck = Me

I'm Buying Stock in YouTube as Soon as I Get Some Money

Watch this and join me on my crest of joy. Van Damme is doing the same dances Ben does in his boxer shorts when he has too much energy (moments before he crashes and whines, "I'm ty-ty. I hadda long day. Turn off the lighty."). But then, shortly after VD goes into the dance-splits, it goes in a different direction--these pan-Asian people don't want to see his moves, and those bitches aren't really interested in his jock! They've got more sinister plans in mind--namely, running up to him and waiting around for him to do the fight-splits and elaborately punch them, breaking a bottle and waiting around for him to elaborately punch them, and nearly pulling out a decorative cheese-knife set from their inside pocket but then thinking better of it because there's always time for a cheese plate and they're intrigued by his drunken strength. Note that I had no idea he was supposed to be drunk until the end of the scene (made even more memorable by the guy who runs up to VD and then waits around for VD to slam his head into his shot glass and then the table).

VD is clearly ignoring the agreement. Clearly there's some unspoken rule that when you're drinking in a strange Asian bar, if a fight breaks out you're supposed to do the noble thing and just run up to each other and flex. These people never saw it coming. VD honors no unspoken rules (except for the one about always wearing Z. Cavaricci's).