Keeping it Weird 4 Lyfe

This Thursday I'll be reading for the first time ever in Austin, TX, and yep I just peed a little in excitement. I'll be reading with Dan Boehl, whose new book, Kings of the F**king Sea, is out now!

Can't wait to see Amelia Gray and Mary Miller and Sarah Grainer and my brother/sister in-law and a couple dogs I'mma mash faces with.

And to reenact this picture.

But before all of that, I'm reading and DJing at the Artifice Magazine Dirty South Dance Party tomorrow night. My DJ name is DJ Sensible Shoes. Control your jealousy and admiration, please. Setlist sneak peek here!

Last night I read at the Encyclopedia Show. I really can't say enough about that event - it is always so unique and wonderful, and if you haven't been to one you should make it a point to do so a-sap.

On my walk to the train afterward I passed a house where a band was practicing in the attic. Whoever they were, they were super emo, and I was very moved, okay? I'm not made of stone. Until a gentleman in a butt-length leather jacket walked by and requested Freebird. And then requested it again when there was no reaction. And then again, caterwauling like he was being stabbed and these were his last words.

I believe what I witnessed was the death, finally, of that joke. I feel lucky to have played a part in its demise.

In other news, I have new stories in Annalemma and Wigleaf, journals I have been salivating over for a long time. And I'm excited to have a story in the launch issue of Midwestern Gothic! Such a great premise for a journal and it's awesome to be a part of it. And stories forthcoming in Barrelhouse, trnsfr, and Dark Sky. eeeee!

Mission Creek!

Quickies! wants you too, Malachai. We want you too! 

I'm heading to Iowa City April 1-2 for the Mission Creek Festival. I'll be reading at Prairie Lights Friday night with Tao Lin and Ted Thompson, and then Quickies! is joining the Mission Creek Lit Crawl Saturday at the Dublin Underground. Reading for Quickies! will be:

Jac Jemc
Zach Dodson
Steve Tartaglione
Kyle Beachy
Anthony Luebbert
Aaron Burch
Adam Novy
Amy Butcher
Jill Summers
and Roxane Gay

I am super excited about being a part of Mission Creek! If you're anywhere near the Midwest, or you have a way to steal your stepdad's frequent flyer miles to get you to Iowa City, please just quit puddlin' and do it!

Thinking I might not do any readings in May, maybe.

In other news, I've been feeling like I want to like, wear a leather minidress and stand around in my lover's penthouse apartment holding a glass of chardonnay and watching the sun set and listening to Purple Rain or this amazing fucking song on repeat before just putting my pumps back on and leaving it all behind to start a life without hairspray but with eyeglasses. I'm nostalgic for this made-up memory, is what I'm saying. I'm going to start reading The Bonfire of the Vanities, is what I'm saying.

Anyway. More to come in April. Including my birthday!

Don't percolate

AWP was fun. I made a righteous ass out of myself, this is good for the ego. To wit: here is video of me putting my mouth on the mic at Vermin on the Mount:

I love Nuvia and Jim a lot and all the readers were sublime.

Somewhere secret there is video of Jac Jemc and I rapping at the Literati Gong Show. I don't know should I be embarrassed or proud, or embarrassed to be proud or proud that I'm embarrassed? Aw man I had a great time. Then I jacked my toe up dancing with the Knee-Jerk boys at the Lit Party but it was worth it. I saw a red panda a slapfight between two males my Jamaican husband the longest escalator this side of earth a cruddy omelet a toddler-sized pizza slice tons of lions but none of them real some velvet pants some glitter drawers the white cloud batting from the other side and a lot of whiskey. So nice to have met you all.

Shall we? Shall we?

We shall.

AWPssssshhhh

If I make it out of this blizzard I will be performing/reading at the following events:

The Literati Gong Show! (Doing this with Jac Jemc. And maybe we're rapping.)

Vermin on the Mount!

And then of course hanging out at the featherproof table and lauding Miss Gray and Mr. Somerville at the Literature Party.

See you there, and one of us will slip on some barf (maybe mine) and do a really entertaining windmill before landing on the paper-mâché tree next to the Ecotone table? But it's okay, because you wanted to subscribe anyway. Then we'll wear each other's Hammer pants and dap to the death. Can't wait!

Upcomer!

Friday night I am reading with Kevin Sampsell at the Book Cellar. His book, A Common Pornography, is really good, and you should buy it.

Alright listen up

Last night, I had a giant beer and no dinner, and then I went to a reading. And then I had a giant goblet of wine. And then my rape-y personality came out in full force. I may have flirted with someone's mother-in-law. I may have professed my love for someone I barely know. I may have made a joke about "cutting in" while people made out. I may have brandished a length of twine and a mallet. Okay not that last thing. But I may as well have.

It was like encountering that warm patch in your neighbor's pool, and in your terror to swim out, you actually swim deeper in. That's basically how I handled the situation - I dove right into that warm patch, mouth open.

All day long, I am surrounded by people I adore and who I can say anything to. I mean anything. No holds barred. It's pretty much constantly a to-the-death competition to out-horrify each other. So when I'm out in social situations that don't involve those people, I act like a goddamned idiot. Okay, maybe that's harsh? More accurately, I come off like BTK mated with Ted Bundy and then hired Marie Noe to raise me, and all she fed me was mini Hershey bars and espresso.

But all of this is to say that, if you encounter me in a public setting, and I start peppering the small talk with "date rape" and "diamond nips" and "Help me carry something to my car," please forgive me, and please change the subject.

Football. I like talking about football.

I'm on the right.

The light fantastic

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Originally uploaded by lindsaydevon.